Accidentally Changing Bliss
by Jenshu7
Summary: Bella has a dream that leads her to find some really good books, the Twilight Saga. And she goes searching to find out if they're really true. PG-13, AU crazy, canon pairings.
1. The Books

Chapter 1 - The Books

Bella POV

I had no idea what I was doing. I had never acted on an impulse before, but here I was, standing in front of the library, when I had told myself that I shouldn't go again today. Because, well frankly, I'd been here twice this morning and thrice this afternoon. I just couldn't get rid of this overwhelming feeling that I was missing something vital to my existence, and that if I didn't find it soon, I wouldn't be able to live much longer. So I wandered aimlessly down the aisles of the Pheonix public library for the millionth time this week, searching for something. Whatever it was, I knew that I'd recognize it the moment I saw it. I hadn't seen it yet, which meant that I was always thinking about going back to the library and searching for it, every waking and sleeping moment of the day and night.

It had all started one night with a sudden dream. Dreams were usually very fake to me. I could tell that I was dreaming, so there was no real fear in nightmares, and no real pleasure from good dreams. But this dream, it had been so real, and so vague at the same time. There were these green eyes. And they were such vivid, green eyes. I was falling into them in my dream, but then I wasn't falling, I was just getting lost in them, drowning in them. Every night henceforth, I had had the same exact dream. There were no explanations from my crazy subconscious mind. I only knew that I had to find these green eyes, and all my life would fall into place.

But that didn't explain my strange impulse to be searching everyday in this library. And I knew it was completely and utterly irrational, but somehow… somehow I knew that there was something in the library that would lead me to these green, gorgeous eyes, and that I would recognize whatever something it was when I saw it.

I stopped walking. I had reached the back of the library where no one ever went. It was the part of the place where they placed all the old books that were left there to rot. Personally I loved this place because it was where they dumped all the classics like Shakespeare and Bronte while the idiotic teens of the modern day deluded themselves with the fantasies of the "young adult" section, and the children lost their minds in the complex grammar of "See Spot run!"

I was tired from all the trips to the library, and so I made to sit down. Of course, I fell. But what I hadn't counted on was breaking my fall with the bottom shelf books of the bookcase in front of me. And I certainly hadn't expected to find what I was looking for like this. But there it was, and like I'd imagined, I knew that it was what I was looking for the second I saw it. There, behind the thick dusty volumes of cobweb covered novels, were four black books. And they weren't dirty like the books that had hidden them. They looked new and sacred, and I reached out for the one on the farthest left, and opened it.

***

It was getting late. But there was so much more to read, and the books only seemed to get thicker. But I was sure that trying to check them out was not a good idea. So I carefully hid the first book back where I'd found it, and went home. I was surprised to say the least. I didn't even apologize to Renee for leaving her without a dinner, I just went straight to my room and sat in my bed, fully clothed, in awe. The books were about… me. It described my personality perfectly, what I looked like, what I liked, what I didn't like, how I would probably react to certain situations. But what about the other parts? What about …. the vampires? Could this story really be my future? I was only 15 now, when I was 17, would Renee find someone named Phil? And would they get married? If they did, and if Phil really was a ball player… I would have moved in with Charlie. I knew it in my heart that it's what I would have done.

But how could someone predict something like that, write books on it, and then send a… feeling to me, that I needed to find them? What was the message? Was there something I was supposed to change? I lay there all night, just speculating. Tomorrow, was Sunday, maybe if I read more, I'd get some answers out of it.

***

"And then we continued blissfully into this small but perfect piece of our forever…" And that was it. I put the fourth book down, Breaking Dawn. It was Monday afternoon, and I'd rushed home from school just to finish the last book. And now I was done. Now what? What did I want to do? I still had no idea whether this was somehow still a fairytale about me, or if it was possible. Possible that vampires and werewolves really did exist and that I was about to enter that world in just a few short years. I had to find out if all this was true or not. Going looking for the Cullens was out of the question. If I happened to cross Edward's path away from the others, or outside of a public place…well let's just say that mind over matter wasn't an instant thing. Then there was the possibility of Jacob. But Jacob wasn't a werewolf yet. Hell, Sam wasn't a werewolf yet, because the Cullens hadn't arrived and "set things in motion" yet. So there were two places where I was sure I'd find supernatural beings: one was the Volturi, and the other… was the Denali Clan.

That meant Tanya. Tanya and her strawberry blonde curls, perfection, and lust for my husband. Or rather, my husband to be. It wasn't appealing, but I'd rather take her, than Aro any day. Just reading about him, made me shiver in fear. And then there was Kate. There were so many possibilites with Kate. Maybe, I could project. I was human. But…if I could project…well at least the practice would take my mind off of things. Irina…would have no reason to hate me, seeing as I had no half-breed daughter as of yet, and her to-be mate hadn't been killed on my account. And maybe, just maybe I could save her life in the long run. No, this was all assuming that they actually existed. I had to make sure of that first.

A round trip from Phoenix to Juneau and back was around $1,200. And I had that much saved, more than that in fact. But the problem was, what would I tell Renee? I couldn't simply just take my life savings, and take off for Alaska tomorrow. As it happens, there was a biology Olympiad coming up soon. And the first place winner was to go on and compete. I hadn't told my mother where they winners went, I hadn't even planned on entering. And the beauty of it was… that I wasn't even going to enter. My mother would never pry too hard. I would be free to go to Denali. And I would be able to drag it out for at least a week. All I had to do was not blush… right, easy.

***

So in the end, I did blush. But Renee passed it off and being flushed or embarrassed for even entering in the contest, and she wished me luck. I told her I won a week later, but that I had to pay my way there. She didn't look surprised that I'd gotten to be a genius at biology so fast. She didn't even argue with me about saving up for college and not using my money. I blushed a lot, but she wrote it off as excitement. And it all went over fairly well, much better than I'd ever imagined possible. And I was on my way to Alaska before I could say "vampire."

***

I had no idea where the Denali clan lived. They could live anywhere in this godforsaken city! How was I going to find them? Go door to door and ask "hey? Are you a vampire?" Evidently, if I continued to have as little luck as I'd been having, I'd have to resort to that. I trudged down to the diner attached with the small motel I was staying in. It had been 3 days since I'd arrived in Denali, and I was beginning to lose hope. The nice waitress had taken a liking to me for some reason, and brought me extra pancakes everyday at breakfast.

"Dear?" a voice called me out of my reverie.

"Yes?" I looked up to see the face of the waitress looking down at me.

"Maybe it's not my place, but I was wondering if you … were looking for someone? Maybe I could help? I think I know just about everyone around here, and their fathers and grandfathers as well."she said with a chuckle.

Of course, of course. Of course people would know each other in a small town like this.

"Tanya?" I said tentatively. And she nodded. So Tanya existed, she was real. Now I'd just have to find out, if she really was a vampire like those books said she was. How the hell did I get here?


	2. A Rival No Girl Wants to Have

Chapter 2 ~ A Rival No Girl Wants to Have

I was crazy. I was crazy and deluded and I was going to die. Crazy, crazy, crazy. But here I was, in front of this house. This enormously huge house. And inside…were…. vampires. Vampires! The shock of it all seemed to be hitting me now, and I wondered if I should just forget about all of this, go home, and just let the story play out by itself. After all, I was pretty sure it was true now, wasn't I? What if I changed something? What if it all went wrong? But then, why would those books have been there if I wasn't supposed to change something? And I knew in the back of my mind, that there was something that I desperately wanted to change about that story. But I just couldn't put my finger on it, couldn't figure out what it was that was bothering me so much about how my life had turned out in the end. So here I was, standing in front of this great big white house, my hand raised to knock…

And rationally, I knew that they already knew that someone was here, not knocking. They would have gathered that I was contemplating knocking, but hadn't been doing so for the last 5 minutes. They would have heard the bus that stopped just a ways away. They would have heard my every step as I walked down the pavement. As I walked up the steps, they would have heard my ragged breath. They would have heard my heart pounding in my chest. And worst of all, they would have smelt my blood, rushing through my veins. And they would have had to control themselves, however small the instinct was now, it was still there. And she, she had probably come on to my Edward. My Edward? When had I started calling him that? He wasn't my Edward, not mine, not yet.

And it was so embarrassing, the fact that they knew I was hesitating. So I took a deep breath, and knocked. Just like that. There was a pause, I knew they were trying to move at a human pace. Human, slow. They must think me so slow. And slowly, they door opened to reveal the silken strawberry blonde curls that I'd been dreading.

"Hello?" She smiled slightly, trying not to scare me I suppose. Her voice tinkled like the chime of bells.

She was beautiful, so very beautiful. And right then I hated her, for being so beautiful. I wanted to be beautiful for him too. How could I possibly catch his eye the way I was now? How could it be possible for him to be more attracted to me than to her? How could he love me and not her? How? Then I realized I'd not responded, even humans weren't this slow.

"Umm… Tanya?" It was the wrong thing to say, I shouldn't have known her name. She looked at me, a little crease forming in her brow.

"How…?" I smiled, trying to remedy my fluke. And then I just went with the flow, I was being bold. Where did this feeling come from? I must be going crazy.

"Oh, well, I suppose you haven't been in contact with Alice too much lately, then." I tried to look like I knew everything.

"Alice?" The crease in her brown increased. Oh my god, I was wrong. The story was all wrong. Alice didn't exist, he didn't exist. Tanya was human. An extremely beautiful human, but a human no less. I tried to look for any sign of color in her cheeks, blood running in her veins to confirm that she was in fact human.

"Alice Cullen, I …" she cut me off.

"How do you know Alice?" I was wrong. My mind was reeling, but I tried not to show it. What should I say? Another wave of that same crazy, lying high hit me. Was I becoming a good liar, fnally?

"I know things, like Alice…" That was very vague. I hoped she wouldn't press for details, because I most certainly didn't have a gift to see the future. And I most certainly wouldn't be able to lie about that without having the blood rush to my cheeks. "Yes, but you're such a bad liar that it doesn't really count." The quote came back to me, and I could almost hear his voice in my head. How I craved to hear that voice, the voice that would sweep me off my feet in all its velvety wonderfulness. I wanted him, and I'd never even met him. There was just one more thing I had to be sure of: Tanya existed, which meant that Kate, Irina, Carmen and Eleazar existed. Alice existed, which mean that the rest of the Cullens must exist as well… but, vampires?

"I'm sorry, I haven't really introduced myself correctly have I? I'm Bella Swan, nice to meet you." I held out my hand, begging her to take it. I had to feel the cool touch of her hand, to make sure she was supernatural, that my fairy tale was really coming true. She touched her hand to mine for just a moment, a courtesy I supposed. It was cold, ice cold. Relief flooded throughout me, and brought a warm color to my cheeks. It was a strange and irrational relief, but I'd been so sure that it couldn't be true, this fairy tale. She looked at me, probably wondering why I was so elated over a handshake. She must think me mental. Sigh.

"It seems… we have much to discuss. Would you like to come in?" Fear struck me, I hadn't thought through the possibility… but what if Edward was here? The Cullens seemed to travel all together usually, but what if Edward had taken a solo trip to visit his friends in Alaska? What if, when I walked into that house, my life ended because the love of my life couldn't control his urges yet? The love of my life? I hadn't met him yet, I had to get a grip on my imagination. I should just ask Tanya, she probably already thought me a bit crazy.

"Um…" I hesitated, "Is Edward here?"

She looked confused, "Edward? No, why?"

I sighed with relief and took a few steps into the foyer, "Just, it would be very bad if Edward were here. For me at least…"

"Tanya?" A voice called, "Sister, we're back… who's that with you?" Four vampires entered the room. Kate, Irina, Carmen, Eleazar. Kate's flawless face was framed by the most beautiful blonde locks, cascading down her shoulders in waves of soft curls. Carmen's black locks were tied up in a ponytail, and next to her, stood her mate Eleazar, tall and intelligent looking. Which left Irina, thin and beautiful. I could almost detect a hint of Russian heritage in her. I felt chagrin, would my baby cause her death? That would be something I would have to change, I couldn't break up this coven, this family.

Eleazar was regarding me with the most peculiar expression. He stepped forward, out of Carmen's embrace, raising an eyebrow. "But…human!" he muttered, his eyes wide with shock. Oh, he must sense my shield. So I did have shield. That made me feel quite proud of myself for some reason, that I had a supernatural power. Something that could protect my loved ones. If I could master it, Edward would never writhe on the floor in front of Jane, and maybe, he would be able to hear my thoughts…and he would see how much I loved him. Eleazar came closer.

"What are you?" I smiled. "Human."

"But, your shield! It's so powerful, and yet still, you're…." he trailed off.

"Yes, can you just imagine what it'll be like when…" I frowned a little at the thought, how was I going to get Edward to change me? Sigh. So many obstacles to go through. "Tell me Eleazar, can humans project?"

He looked taken aback by the question. "Well… I, no one's ever tried. How do you know so much?"

"It's complicated, but come now, Eleazar, can I learn to project?"

"Project?" Kate stepped towards me. "What can you do?" She looked eager, I suppose she hadn't met someone with other gifts in a while.

I smiled, then I walked up to her and put my hand on her arm. "Shock me." Her eyes widened, and then, seemed to focus. There was determination, then confusion, then incredulity, and finally joy. "Wow!" she was awed, "I've never met anyone who couldn't feel it. Or, do you deflect it? I wouldn't be surprised if you could project…"

"Bella."

"Bella, so very nice to meet you. Oh, this is so exciting, would you like to practice? Projecting I mean, only we'd have to have a guinea pig help us. I'm sure none of my family would enjoy being shocked repeatedly. Hmmm."

And then I noticed Irina's cold face. She was not happy with this. I could tell. "You are human." It was not a question. "You know too much."

"Come now, sister, we have told her nothing. The Volturi would not touch us for that." Kate protested.

"It is not the Volturi, it is for our own good, the good of our world. What if she tells someone?"

"Then they will throw her in an insane assylum. Be calm Irina." It was Tanya who responded. Beautiful… "I prefer brunettes." I needed to hear his voice, so badly.

Kate turned back to me, "You can stay as long as you like. But I'm afraid you'll have to provide yourself with food. We don't have any for… er… obvious reasons." she smiled. "How long are you staying? Please say you'll be here for long, projecting takes a long time you know, centuries, and all I can do is run a current over my skin, its very tiring." she sighed.

And just like that, I became a guest in a vampire family's home.


	3. Saving

Chapter 3 - Saving….

"So, how long can you stay?" We hadn't talked much about anything, because we'd focused so much on projecting in the beginning, so it startled me when Kate spoke. "A couple centuries would be nice, you know. These things take time…" Kate was obviously getting ahead of herself. I only wanted to know how to practice, so I could do it myself, back home… away from all this supernatural stuff.

"Um, I have to go back to Phoenix in four days at least."

"FOUR DAYS?" Kate screamed in exasperation.

"Well, my mother doesn't really know that I came here to look for you."

"But FOUR days! And you have to sleep too! Oh this is so frustrating, what do you expect me to teach you in four days? We don't even have proper incentive, ugh!" She was overreacting a bit, but I liked it. It reminded me of Alice. Alice, I hadn't even met Alice. There was a loud, resigned sigh.

"I suppose, since you're human, you are tied down… but still four days. Ugh, well we might as well keep practicing. Why are you going to Phoenix anyways, what happened to Forks?"

"Forks? Why would I go to Forks?" The Cullens weren't there, hell I hadn't even met the Cullens yet. And my father, we had such a strange relationship. And what was I going to do about Jacob? But Kate didn't know all of that… why was she asking about Forks? Had the Cullens already decided to move there sometime in the future?

"Well, aren't you going to go back to Forks? How did you meet Alice and Edward then?"

I gave her a confused expression, how did she know that I knew about…

"Oh," she said, catching on to my expression, "We have wonderful hearing, you know. I was listening…"

"Oh… but… the Cullens aren't in Forks yet, how did you know that -"

"What are you talking about Bella? They've been living in Forks for a few months now. Isn't that how you met them? Otherwise why would you suddenly be coming over here and -"

"WHAT?!"

"What? I thought -"

"They're in Forks?!" This was bad, so very bad. Not because the Cullens were there, but because the wolves were there as well. Jacob, and his brothers. Sam. Leah. Emily. Emily's face was going to be destroyed because the Cullens had moved there. Leah's heart was going to be broken because the Cullens had moved there. Sam was going to have that cold, hard mask on his face for life because the Cullens had moved there. Everything was going to be ruined. This must be something that I was supposed to fix. And I had realized it too late. The Books had said that they'd moved to Forks two years earlier than I had. I'd forgotten, so conveniently forgotten. Jake, Jake was going to pay. No, I had to go… now.

Kate was still confused. "Bella. Bella? Are you okay? Did I say something?"

"No, no. It's, I have to go. I'm so sorry."

"Go?" I looked at her, my new friend. My new vampire friend. She was the only Denali who'd really accepted me completely. Tanya was reserved, Irina flat out hated me. Eleazar disapproved. And Carmen, well Carmen was quiet. I couldn't tell how she felt. I looked up into Kate's kind face and saw the blue eyes that should have replaced the honey golden ones that I really saw. They were caring, they were playful, they were disarming. She was becoming my cousin too, my sister. If I was going to be a Cullen, we would be family. Family, that sounded nice. I couldn't keep leaving her hanging like this, not explaining anything. I knew she was curious. I mean, who wouldn't be curious? I'd just come barging into her home like I owned everything, knew everything, and had to be given everything. I had to tell her something. But not now. Now was not the time. I had to go, Jacob. Jacob didn't want to be a werewolf. And sometimes things were set in motion, and they couldn't be changed. Sometimes, it could be too late. But I couldn't be too late. This was what I was supposed to change. I had to go.

"Kate…I have to go now. I don't have time to explain. But thank you for being so hospitable, and please call Carlisle. Tell him, not to let Edward out of the house for the next 24 hours, and keep a close watch on him. Tell him, not to let Edward get at me. Please don't ask what I mean. I need to go. Bye." I dashed to the guest room to get my things.

"Bella…" Kate put a hand on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry, please." I looked up into her eyes, trying to make her understand. Her hand fell.

"All right."

"Thank you." I dashed out the door without a backward glance, counting money. It seemed a flight to Port Angeles was in order.

***

"CARLISLE? CARLISLE?" I was frantic. It had taken too long to get a flight to Port Angeles. There had been so many delays, it had cost so much. I was nearly broke now. There were so many taxis that passed me by when I so badly needed a ride to Forks, and I'd spent so many hours just freaking out. But luck had been on my side when the taxi drove right past a break in the trees, and I knew instantly that I'd found the way to the Cullens' home. I paid the man and got out. It was 5:00 in the afternoon. The Cullens had to be home. Perhaps it was dumb of me to be calling for Carlisle, he'd be at work.

"ALICE? ALICE ARE YOU THERE? EMMET? ROSALIE?" I needn't yell. They'd hear me, they probably heard the taxi stop and the car door slam after I got out. But they weren't coming out. They were probably confused. It was no use. I started walking very slowly down the path to the house, it was a long way to be sure, but Edward was the fastest.

"EDWARD? DON'T BREATHE!" Please don't kill me Edward, I want to get to know you. Please don't breathe. Please. I want to love you, I want to marry you.

I could hear the flowing of water now, I must be getting close.

"Edward, don't breathe, don't breathe, don't breathe. Alice, hold him back, Jasper, Emmet, hold him back. I don't want to die… please."

And there was the house. It shouldn't have looked so familiar to me. I shouldn't have been able to look at it and feel like it was home. But it did, it felt like home. It felt like love and family and happiness. And for a moment I felt like I was going to ruin it all by being here. But I had to, I had to save Jake. I walked up the steps, knowing they could hear every resounding echo of my footsteps. I came up to the door, and stopped. I didn't pause this time. I just knocked. There was no response. I knocked again.

"Alice, I know you're confused, but I'm all right, I'm not crazy. Please let me in. I'll explain everything… Esme? Esme, please open the door."

And the door opened, it was Jasper.


	4. Potent

Chapter 4 - Potent

And in that moment, I suddenly became super aware of everything. Here was Jasper, tall, and blonde, and real. My eyes roamed his features, memorizing them, like I was afraid he'd disappear if I made any sudden movements. Jasper must have been sent out as a protector. After all, he had much experience in the area of fighting. And as I scrutinized him, something finally clicked, and I realized why I was so anxious. It wasn't because Jasper might evaporate, it was because I might. Because right now, Jasper's eyes were black, pitch black. And I could tell he was fighting the urge to sink his teeth into me. The thirst was going to win out, I was going to die, without ever having spoken a word to Edward.

"No." My fear and adrenaline consumed me, all I could register in my brain now were Jasper's eyes and teeth. His mouth opened slightly in anticipation, and the dim light from behind the trees glinted off his white teeth. Edward. I hadn't even got to meet him. I didn't know what he looked like. Could his honey colored hair really be that enticing? I didn't know what his velvet voice sounded like. Would his voice really have been so captivating? I would never be able to share a kiss with him. He'd never spend countless nights in my bed, hidden from Charlie. We wouldn't have our many arguments about my safety, werewolves, and sex. We'd never get married. We'd never go to Isle Esme. We wouldn't go through the whole pregnancy crisis. We wouldn't have Renesmee. Renesmee! A lost child, a lost life. All because of my stupid curiosity, and … Jasper.

I would never know, just because Jasper was thirsty. Suddenly I was mad. No, I wasn't just mad. I was furious, fuming, my vision turned from the scene around me and all I could see was red, like I was seeing through a layer of blood. Just because Jasper was thirsty. Stupid, stupid Jasper. Everything exploded and suddenly I could see everything, hear everything, feel everything. Each color and shape in the immediate space around us was defined distinctly in my mind. I could hear every rustle of the leaves above and below, and the slight breeze set my every hair on alert. And most importantly, my mind, my shield became very known to me.

Kate had tried to teach me in the short time that I'd been with her. In her lessons, she'd emphasized that projecting was nothing like physically pushing something. I couldn't just think of it. I had to feel it happening. And as I finally pushed my shield out, I could understand what she meant. It was hard to describe, the means by which I pushed out my shield from me. But that wasn't what mattered. How was not important, when the deed was actually being done.

I had never felt my shield this clearly before, and the feeling was exhilarating. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew that my shield was only a mental defense, but right now, I felt the need for physical offense. As exhilarated as I was at the fact that I'd finally pushed my shield fully out, the reason for the sudden accomplishment did not fade from my mind. I was going to die. And it was only because Jasper couldn't control himself. What a stupid reason to die. Of all the reasons … to be killed by your future brother! Anger rolled off me in waves, and all the energy was put into my shield. I wanted to rip Jasper to shreds for even thinking about it, he seemed to be feeling my anger, because his expression changed a little. Maybe he felt shock at my emotions.

As energy rolled throughout me into my shield, I pushed farther, and the boundaries extended in a bubble. I pushed again, and I found that the density of the shield did not lessen as I pushed out. Shields did not seem to follow the natural laws of physics. I realized that I could thicken the walls without pushing my shield out farther. I poured all my anger into my shield, forcing the walls to become thicker. Suddenly, my shield changed shape. I hadn't realized that I had been concentrating on keeping my shield spherical, but the moment I struck out in frustration, the shape of my shield changed. I could mold it to any form I wanted. Subconsciously, my shield took on a pointed shape. I lifted the burden out from my mind completely now, and it obeyed effortlessly. There was no recoil to return back to protect my own mind, because it was in my best interest that my shield be on offense, not defense. Now that I was in the offense state of mind, I could see just how easy it was to manipulate my shield. This all happened within a matter of seconds; the acknowledgement of the shield seemed to make me able to think more clearly. And with all the tension that had been building up at my rage, my protector flew out in front of me, my only weapon. I prayed it would hit its mark.

"Oomph!" Jasper fell, the wind knocked out of him. Wait, Jasper … fell? I lost all concentration on the attack as reality hit me. My shield couldn't make Jasper fall … no matter how thick I made it. Even if it were a mile thick, it wouldn't have made him fall. That was the deal, my shield was mental, not physical. Because otherwise, what couldn't my shield protect? But here I was, staring at the sight before my eyes. Jasper was on the floor. I began to laugh. The sheer incredulity of this situation hit me hard. I finally found something that I had a natural talent at. Mythical powers and such seemed to be my strong point.

My shield glided through the air, now the vague shape of a balloon, and hovered over me. I realized that I was not in offense mode anymore, and my shield still didn't seem to immediately snap back towards me as before. Perhaps it wouldn't be quite so difficult to keep it at bay as it seemed. It just hung there, another object in the air. But it was mine, and no one else could control it. I stared at my floating bubble, awed. This wasn't supposed to happen, I was unprepared for this.

Meanwhile, Jasper had not decided to get up yet. He seemed totally cured of his urge to kill me. Shock, it seemed, brought him out of his blood-crazed state. He was staring at me, utterly confused. I laughed lightly, again. Because how could one not in such a situation as this? It was so elating, finding something as cool as this shield, had been mine all along. And would be for … eternity.

All this passed, and still, only a matter of second had passed. It seemed that the rest of the Cullen family had figured out that maybe, just maybe, it wasn't just a useless human out there, if Jasper had been knocked down by something. So the door flung open and out pounded Emmett. He was just as I'd imagined him. Tall, big, a bear. I could see how he could be adorable, and endearing, and … Emmett. His features gave me my sole reason for not instinctively backing away in fear. I could get used to him. He would be my brother. His little brown curls brought words to my head: "Veera's little Henry." And I could almost see that little Henry standing in front of me. His expression of confusion and defensiveness brought me back to my surroundings. Jasper had rose. He was looking at me. There was still confusion in his eyes, but whatever he was confused about, didn't seem to be bothering him any longer. He just stood there, tall and lean. A small smile spread across his lips, albeit it was a very small smile. Abruptly, I felt sorry for knocking him down. I hadn't meant to do it on purpose.

There was a sharp intake of breath next to Emmett. I turned my head quickly, and my eyes died and went to heaven. I had never seen someone so utterly, heart-breakingly beautiful. Just wonder, and perfect and handsome. Just totally and utterly breath-taking. My eyes raked over his entire body quickly, and then started to run over his every line over and over again. It took me a while to notice that I was blatantly staring. I decided to try and look into his eyes. But on my way up, I got distracted by his perfectly chiseled chin. I wanted to run my fingers along it. I wanted to kiss it. I wanted to lick it all over, every inch of it. I felt my mouth water. What would he taste like? What would he smell like? I couldn't wait to find out. I'm sure, if his features were any indication, that his scent would be absolutely mouth-watering. And then taste got me to thinking about his lips. My eyes trailed over those. I kissed him in my mind, feeling the soft, cold texture of it. Oh how I wanted his lips on mine. It was almost painful to be standing here, not touching him. I would have agonized over the beauty of his nose and cheekbones, but I was distracted by a puff of wind. That puff of wind changed my course of viewing, as a strand of godly bronze hair caught my attention. It was the strangest color of hair. And it was the most beautiful I'd ever seen. Copper. That was the only way to describe the color. And shades of darker browns and lighter blondes came together to make a wonderful sight.

The moving of his hair alerted me to something I hadn't noticed before. Edward's body was tense. Too tense. And then I understood. He probably hadn't gorged himself very recently. And even if he had, I smelled entirely too enticing. Almost deathly enticing. What a joke, right? I took a step back, cautiously. I was in defense mode now. But instead of coming back home and covering me, my shield decided to block the predator. I don't think I consciously ordered it to, my the floating bubble sped over to Edward, and cloaked itself around him. To anyone else, it would have looked as if the shield were protecting him. Not that anyone could see my shield. I took another step backwards, away from the godly creature I wanted to be with.

EPOV

When I opened the door, I had been confused. Needless to say, I had been very frustrated when Carlisle asked me to watch over the thoughts in the visitor's head, and I had been unable to get a read on the human at all. I didn't understand. But then, her thoughts came rushing to me all of a sudden. She did not think very slowly. It was quick, and intricate, and totally incomprehensible. I got nothing out of it. But I saw Jasper fall through her eyes, and though I saw clearly in her mind that it had been an accident, I didn't hesitate to follow Emmett out to investigate.

SLAM! I was hit in the face with the most enticing smell. I shifted slightly down into a crouch. That smell. I had to have it. No other thought entered my mind. Or so it was for a sixteenth of a second. And then … her thoughts flooded me. And I saw myself, entirely glorified. There was no way that I was that perfect looking. But I heard the word running through her mind over and over again: perfection. As I watched her eyes rake over my form, I looked through my own eyes, and I saw. I saw her. And there was nothing else in the world that mattered. Because she was my sun, and I was seeing the light for the first time. My whole life, I'd been living in a cave. I'd come out, and I was never going back.

This goddess, was looking at me as if I were the prize. As if a horrible creature like me could ever be wanted at all. I forgot about my thirst, because I had no room for it. I saw perfection, and perfection saw me. And she seemed to like what she saw. Hope. Maybe I wasn't in purgatory after all.

She stared, and I stared, and the world was complete in our meeting. If I died on the spot right here, I would not regret my life, for I had finally gotten to meet the reason for my existence. I did not have anything else to tend to in life. It had all been done now. This is what I must have been waiting for all these 100 years. This is what I've been looking for. This is why I've never been satisfied to live day after day in boring high school repetitions, because I had been waiting for her. And frankly, she probably hadn't been alive for most of my measly life.

Then, her thoughts flooded my mind again.

_Perfect. How can he be so perfect? Now I understand … _

A flood of emotion filled her thoughts. It wasn't just any emotion. It was the emotion of … love, if that was possible. No, it wasn't possible, there was no way that she could love me. I was a vile creature. I am a vile creature. I crave human blood. How can I not be the most deplorable thing ever? When she finds out what I am, what I want, she'll never love me. She doesn't love me now. Humans are confused for the most part, she's tricking herself into these feelings. I shouldn't get my hopes up.

_Edward … Edward, Edward, Edward. God, I'll never want to say anyone else's name again!_

And I never wanted her to say anyone else's name. My name sounded glorious on her lips. Or rather, in her mind. She seemed to say my name with a reverence, as if I were some mystifying Greek God.

_Adonis. _

Was she thinking on the same lines as me? We were alike in our minds. "Adonis: used to describe an extremely attractive male." The definition ran across my mind. The beauty of vampire minds, we never forget. Photographic memory.

_Edward? _

Jasper. He had realized my reactions. He was on his feet now. I registered the fact that he and Emmett were now both flanking me, taking my arms. I was still in a crouch. I heard the confusion of his thoughts coupled with Emmett's running through my thoughts, weaving into them and causing my own bout of confusion.

_Chill out man. You of all people aren't one to lose control. She's just a human, harmless. _

A human that was able to knock Jasper off his feet, but nevertheless a human. And I wasn't trying to attack her anymore. I straightened out of my crouch with a slight jerk. Very ungraceful, I was going to have to work on my tactics some more.

_What? What? …. What? _

Confusion. That's what was running through her mind. And I couldn't place it. I couldn't follow the series of thoughts again, she was a very quick thinker, much unlike other humans.

_But I can' read minds! _

Well … now I'm confused as well. What does she mean?

_But … he can't read my mind! This is so …. bizarre! _

Was she referring to me now? Confusion. I couldn't distinguish between my confusion and hers.

_Edward?_

Yes? I momentarily forgot my worries at the sound of my name in her head.

_Edward? _

Yes? Oh, Speak it again, bright angel! I quoted Romeo and Juliet unthinkingly. The words seemed to fit. My angel. She was my angel.

_Edward … you can hear me? _

How did she know? Yes, yes angel, I can hear you.

_I can hear you too. _

_What? _

"_What?" I spoke out loud now. She stared at me. And then something flashed through her thoughts, and idea. Then there was nothing. Well, not nothing. There was the confusion coming from my family. But I could hear nothing of my angel's thoughts, and it bewildered me. I was so confused now. Very, very confused. How did my angel do that? _

_BPOV_

_When my shield enveloped Edward, I began to hear his thoughts, and he began to hear mine. I had no idea how that worked. It wasn't even supposed to work that way. My shield was separated from me, it shouldn't have some strange connection with Edward. It just didn't make any sense. But I was sure that I could not have made up that velvety voice in my head, like he'd said in another life, my imagination was just not that good. _

_So I decided that I had to test my theory. I pulled my shield away from him carefully, and the light that was his wonderful mind left my presence. I could hear nothing now. Only silence. So then I was right, I could hear his thoughts, and he could hear mine, but only when we were connected. _

_Suddenly, Edward crouched down again involuntarily. Oh, he was thirsty, I stepped back just a little. But it was not necessary. Jasper and Emmett had his arms securely held back. I was safe, but I didn't want to torment Edward so. It seemed that it was harder for him to control his urges when he wasn't exploring the anomaly that was my mind. _

_It was then that my peripheral vision finally registered in my mind, and I began to see what was outside of Edward. The green trees. The soft flowers. The sky. This place was beautiful. And the sight of the forest brought another memory to me. Why I was here. The pack. I wanted to help the pack. It might have been stupid to try and change the past by myself. But I wanted to. I wanted them to get their happy ending as well. I wanted them to not blame me. I wanted them to be happy, because they had given me a love that I seemed to not appreciate at the time, or in that life. It all seemed so strange, thinking of things in the past that hadn't happened yet. _

_The first and foremost problem was Sam Uley. When things are set in motion, sometimes there's no going back. Maybe there was some chemical or something that vampires secreted into the air that triggered the change in young werewolves. I didn't know. But I did know that the Cullens couldn't have been here for too long, and I wanted to keep it that way. _


	5. Late

Chapter 5 - Late

BPOV

I looked at Edward. He seemed calmer now. Now that my mind was connected to his in this strange connection again. It seemed that while I was connected to his mind, he was distracted from my scent. I didn't understand it. But then again, none of this made sense at all. I was just happy to have found Edward. And I was a little ashamed that he could tell just how much I had wanted to meet him. He asked me questions, as to why I was here, how I found out the existence of vampires, what had happened. I answered the questions with my memories, and he sat there, still, not judging me at all.

"So …" he finally began after hours of interrogation, "werewolves are here?"

"I'm not sure, I was hoping that things hadn't been set in motion yet."

"I see. Let me talk this over with my family."

Jasper had long given up on trying to get anything out of either Edward or me. But Emmett had continued to badger the both of us for information on what in the world was going on. He was excited now that he seemed to be about to get an answer.

"So you're finally talking? What in the world is going on? Come on Eddie, you're killing me!"

"I believe I have told you on many occasions, that I dislike being called Eddie, Em."

"Come on bro! What's a little name calling between brothers, eh?"

I tuned out of the main conversation, focusing instead on the intelligent whirring of Edward's mind. I wasn't listening per se to what he was actually saying, just to the constant hum of his … mind.

His velvety voice broke me out of my reverie.

"I'll be just a moment Bella. I'd like to speak with the rest of my family in the other room. You may stay here. Help yourself to our television if you'd like." He gave me a small smile. I could see that there was a certain warring conflict coming from his mind, but he moved abruptly and I lost contact with his mind. I was instantly afraid he'd be distracted by my scent again. But he didn't seem phased at all.

"Shouldn't I … keep my shield on you?"

"It's quite all right, lo - Bella. I'm getting used the scent already. Desensitized, just like … I've said."

I nodded cautiously, careful not to spread my scent around. And because I didn't know what else to do, I decided to put on Edward's plasma screen tv, and watch a movie. And as I sat there watching, I began to think again. I had no idea what Iwas doing. I had no idea how things would turn out anymore. All my insight was gone. And the thing was. Well, what if the Cullens did decide to move away from Forks for the convenience of the wolves? What then? How would I be with Edward? Would the whole future change for the worse? Would it have been better to just leave things as they were? Was I just choosing for Jake and his pack without asking them? Not that I could ask them. But they did seem to warm up to the vampires, and the vampires did seem to warm up to them.

But there was something else that was causing me to do this. And I put my finger on it now. Renesmee. I didn't want Jacob to imprint on Renesmee. No matter how it was explained to me that Jacob didn't see her that way when she was little, I didn't want her to have to choose him just because he had chosen her. And I didn't want him to have to choose her because of some wolfy instinct. I didn't want to have to betray Edward. And I didn't want to have either side go through the troubles of trying to coexist when they clearly weren't meant to.

So I sat there in the living room with the tv, not really paying attention. And I started wondering what my mother would be thinking. She would be wondering where I was. Or would she? But nevertheless. She'd find out soon enough. So I should pay a visit to Charlie. Because I'm not sure that I'm going to be coming here to live with him at all. So, I'd like to see him once again. The books made me warm up to him just a little bit more. He loved me, and that was the main thing.

"Bella." I turned, I would know that voice anywhere. I hadn't heard him come in. "Would you mind?"

"No." I nodded, and sent my shield over him again. He breathed in deeply, getting some fresh air I suppose.

"We … my family and I, we're decided that we don't' want to impose on the werewolves. We're to move up north tomorrow. Perhaps somewhere not too far from our cousins in Alaska."

"Hi Bella!" A small little pixie came running up to me. I was immediately in a strangle hold that Alice probably saw as a hug. I liked this girl. She was energetic, so full of life.

"Hello Alice."

She giggled. "This is so interesting! Just like you have the power to see the future as well! Oh we're could have so much fun together! I wish you could come with us. But we'll be with each other soon enough. I'll see to that!"

I didn't have any idea what she was going on about, but because somehow, I knew her already, I decided that I'd just let it go. It was better that way with Alice.

"Alice…" Edward warned her. I didn't see the reason behind his warning. I wasn't looking for it. The rest of the family gathered into the living room with me. Jasper and Emmett had been holding them back, fearing that I had another trick up my sleeves, like the time I pushed Jasper on the floor.

I saw Rosalie hanging back in a corner. I felt sorry for her. Someone, her fiancee, had raped her with his friends, and left her to die. She blamed herself for being vain. But all she had wanted was a child. And she wanted a child. But she could not have one. I acted on whim. I don't know what I was thinking. Perhaps I wasn't thinking at all. But I went up to her and held my hands out in greeting.

"Rosalie." she didn't take my hands. Her expression remained cold.

"Rose!" Emmett chastised. "Be nice to the human."

I ignored Emmett and his playful ways. Rosalie didn't have to like me. It would take time. And we had lots of it. That is, assuming that I'd become a vampire. But I didn't want to linger on that possibility right now. I wanted to relieve some of Rosalie's pain.

"You can't have a child." Rosalie's eyes tightened, she looked like she was on the edge of her control. "But, Emmett can."

There was a long pause.

"Emmett," I said turning towards him. "You can have a child. Albeit, it wouldn't be Rosalie's child. But … I just, thought, maybe it would be better than having none at all."

Rose didn't speak, and my self consciousness started to kick in. What was I doing? Rosalie had said that she would throw away everything for her own child. She didn't want Emmett's child. She wanted her own child. I was doing crazy things. Rosalie wasn't human. She could have a child like me. It didn't work that way.

"Thanks for the sick joke human. How can Emmett have a child? He's a vampire. Don't you think we know our own limits? We've been alive much longer than you, little human. So stop pretending to be all mysterious and interesting."

I was taken aback. Did that mean that Rosalie would take the option if it was possible? I couldn't wrap my head around it. I needed help.

"What?" Edward said suddenly. He was right behind me. "We. No, I would never. How could I? I could have killed you! You can't seriously be asking Emmett to. Bella -" he chided.

I realized that I'd still been connected to him. He'd heard every part of my thoughts.

"Even if Emmett weren't to kill this human. Who would go through with that? We can't just change her like we did you, and … and … we'd kill her Bella. Our whole way of life goes against that. The killing."

"I know Edward. I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking."

"What?" Rosalie interrupted. "Are you saying, she's not lying? That Emmett really can have a child?"

I stared at her. Did she want this? Edward interrupted my thought process. It was strange listening to his thoughts. I could hear his thoughts. But not the thoughts that he was hearing. I suppose that this meant that Edward's thoughts were separated from the thoughts of those he listened to, and I was only able to tap into his mind. But right now, he was chanting. "What? No!" In his mind.

"Rosalie! You can't possibly be considering this. You'd have to kill a human!"

"Well …" Rosalie began, she didn't seem phased at all. "That makes my count … six, now doesn't it? Still far better than yours." She said.

"Eight." I muttered, the correction falling from my lips. "Eight humans."

"What?"she turned to me again.

"Eight. You forgot the two guards that were guarding Royce."

"Hmm. It seems you're right human."

"She has a name Rosalie. Please, its Bella." Edward chimed in. "But seriously, you can't just … ask a human to carry Emmett's child. Impossible. Carlisle would never agree to this."

I was confused. "Why would Carlisle have to agree Edward?"

"What. Were you going to test Emmett's self control at the risk of a life? Then the casualties could rise well above just one human. No Rosalie!"

"A half-vampire?" Emmett said, finally catching on.

"No," Rosalie whispered. "A child. Our child."

"Rose!" Edward interrupted again. "No!"

"It all fits Edward. Don't you see? A human egg. My DNA, Emmett's sperm. A child." She was smiling now. "My child."

Well this was completely out of hand now. I hadn't considered the possibility of manipulating the process of cloning to create a true child of both Emmett and Rosalie. I hadn't expected that at all. Vampire minds did work more quickly than mine.

Suddenly, Edward whirled around to glare at Carlisle. "WHAT?"

"Two months, Edward. Then, I can extract the fetus, put it in an incubator. It will be safe for the child."

Well. Why hadn't they thought of that for me? I was slightly offended. Why did I have to go through all that pain for nothing?

"You wouldn't let us touch you remember?" Edward answered my question. "You were afraid it'd be easier to kill when it was out of your body." Ah. There was the answer. I knew there was a reason.

"So you'll do it Carlisle?" Rosalie asked, ignoring Edward.

"Yes. I think I will."

"Carlisle, what if -"

"Edward, she won't die in my hands. I won't let her."

Who was she?

"A comatose patient. Carlisle's been working with her for months. Her family's abandoned her to care of the hospital. If they didn't contact within 3 months, Carlisle was going to pull the plug. But Jasper can feel her emotions, and sometimes, I get bursts of her dreams. She's still in there. Just she doesn't want to come out. Carlisle's only agreeing to this, because he thinks that it will shock her out of her coma."

Too much information. Too much. I'm going to overload. What happened to my petty worries about Jake?

"Yes. We will move. It's just going to be pushed back two months."

"So you've no more problems with you little morals, brother?"

"I suppose not, Rosalie."

"Does this mean," Alice began, "That I have another body to shop for? Baby clothes! Oh! The possibilities!"

I felt a short wave of calm, and I supposed that Jasper was attempting to calm Alice down.

"All right, that's enough talk for one day! Go into your rooms, all of you!" Esme chided. I could see she wasn't comfortable with getting someone pregnant without them knowing it.

"Dear, would you like to stay here tonight?"

I wanted to. But I had to go see Charlie. I would sleep there tonight. "That's quite all right. I'd lik to go to my father's house tonight. Can anyone give me a ride there? Chief Swan is my father."

"I'll go with her." Edward volunteered.

"Edward," Jasper warned, "I do not think that is such a good idea."

"Its all right Jasper. Edward is quite able to control himself." Carlisle interjected.

"Shall we?" Edward took hold of my hand lightly, as if he would break me if he pressed too hard.

"Yes." I would go anywhere with him.

"Anywhere?" he teased. I had forgotten he could still hear me. "That depends." I said stiffly, trying to flirt back. "That's not what it sounded like to me." he countered. I let it go at that, because I didn't have anything to say.

The ride to my house was quiet. It was a calm quiet. There were so many things to be said, but this moment was not to be tarnished by those feelings. So we just sat there in his Volvo, speeding along the road. My hand itched to touch his cool, soft one again. But I resisted. I didn't want him to think I craved him that much.

"That's nothing to be ashamed of." he said quietly. Damn. This mind reading thing was so embarrassing. But I didn't want to pull back my shield when we were so close in proximity, it would still be hard for him to resist.

The light was on at Charlie's house when we arrived there. I was sort of dreading this encounter. I wasn't supposed to be in Forks. I was supposed to be miles away in Alaska.

"It'll be all right." Edward whispered in my ear. I shivered at his touch. I liked having him speak into my ear. Edward pulled away, and a hand touched the small of my back, gently pushing me forward. I took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

It flew open the second after I knocked. I was taken aback, and apparently so was he. He was flustered. Charlie was half-dressed, and looked as if he were in a hurry.

"Bella? What are you doing here?" I heard tires, and turned around to see a car speeding down the street. There was no way Charlie could have seen him at all. He was fast.

"I'm … visiting." I said for a lack of better explanation. Charlie looked bewildered.

"Look Bella, I'm kind of in a hurry. I don't know what's going on, but I need to go out."

I was taken aback by this response. I was expecting a scolding off the bat.

"Oh. Did something happen?"

Charlie sighed. "Yes. Do you remember Billy Black? He just called in. One of the kids on the reservation, Sam Uley, he's missing. I have to go, everyone's out right now searching for him. Stay inside."

He left. And I just stood there staring. Because if Sam Uley was missing, there was only one thing that could mean. I was too late. Things had already been set in motion.


End file.
